


of fleeting sunsets & wasted sobriety

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Small Town, Gen, Idealism, Implied Relationships, Light Angst, M/M, People Watching, hyuck is a little sad but he'll be okay, implied markhyuck but just slightly, philosophical hyuck, pretty sunsets, too much watching not enough doing lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21698380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Donghyuck spends his days wasting away, fantasising over the rosy hues of sunsets forever lost.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21





	of fleeting sunsets & wasted sobriety

At the ripe age of seventeen, Donghyuck realised he was running out of time.

He watched with a small exhale as the sun set across the horizon, squinting his eyes to get a closer look as orange pigment flushed into splotches of brash crimson. The sun was retreating from a full-days work, and Donghyuck watched solemnly thinking, _me too_.

Donghyuck often climbed onto this rooftop with his best friend, Mark, to have conversations of a different place, a better time. Except, Mark had left for college, and now Donghyuck was stuck in this stagnant town picking up the pieces of a friendship that ended with hesitant whispers and rushed kisses.

Sometimes when he was all alone, he missed Mark, but when he’d sober up and finish wiping his tears on the back of his sleeve, Donghyuck managed to convince himself that maybe, just _maybe_ , he’d be better off without him.

He sat there, curling inwards as a way to shield himself from the biting cold of early December. Winter in _Sunset Town_ was nothing but a long, dark menace, but there was no other way Donghyuck would be able to watch the sun go down if not here and now, and so he sucked in a deep breath and let a shiver run through him as the air nipped harshly at the sensitive skin of his ears.

Donghyuck liked to question life itself, often when it became too much for him to handle. When there was too much going on and just not enough of him to battle through and withstand the storm he always found himself facing. It was the cycle of a never-ending existential crisis in his mind, always wondering whether the people he was surrounded with were out of place, or if it was him, just another walking anomaly waiting to feel correct.

No, maybe not correct, but _right_ , and he hadn’t felt right in a long time.

With his head settled on his knees, he watched from above, as cars sped by on the main street, people making their way home hurriedly as to escape the bitterness of the cold evening. No matter how many times he sat up there, drowning out the sound of noisy beeping and mundane chatter, he found himself reaching the same oddly-tedious observation he made every single time.

No one, not _anyone_ , looked up.

So lost in whatever they were doing, they never once looked up. Not even to admire the golden sunset as she sunk back, all pretty and exhausted, right before their very own eyes. Upon first realisation, he found it frustrating, because looking at it from up here, he felt as though if he were to reach up and touch the sky, he might just be able to get a feel of heaven’s tiniest essence. Although, after serious deliberation with himself, Donghyuck knew he was wrong, too human and too powerless to get even a glimpse of molten gold simmering between his fingertips.

Nevertheless, he sat there and he watched, albeit a little restless.

Then, he wondered, what lay beyond the thousands of paper houses, lamp-posts made of metal and those whose hearts made of blood, and something akin to silicone.

What was it that Donghyuck was so desperate to look for, to find and take for himself. What was it that kept him from crawling back down the broken ladder and into the comfort of his warm bed, on a lonely night like this.

Maybe a small part of him was still seeking closure, for all the unanswered questions and all the stolen goodbyes; _maybe_ it was just one in particular.

He frowned slightly, as the familiar feeling of grief washed over him in waves, crashing in a growing intensity, just strong enough to get stuck on the broken edges of his weary state of mind.

Sometimes, the cuts were too deep. Most of the time, he didn’t have it in him to dwell on the sadness that overwhelmed him, wouldn’t it just be easier if he brushed it away? It’d come back another time anyway; a storm for another day-- because right _now_ , Donghyuck didn’t have enough time.

He blinked his eyes open, not really recalling when he'd actually closed them. The sun was on her final brinks of life, helplessly holding onto whatever was left of the heaven’s light. And with her last glow, she drifted gracefully and fleeting, almost as though she had never been there in the first place.

 _It was always like this_ , the sudden feeling of emptiness encompassing him as he allowed the remaining darkness in. Often at the end, he felt solemn and slightly wasted, but that feeling alone was enough to bring him back; because, ultimately he knew, to feel _anything_ was better than to feel nothing at all.

And after all the hours spent tracing the sun's unreachable rays, not once had Donghyuck acted on his own impulses, reached out his fingertips, even if for a small second. No matter how long he dreamt of a life farther from here, it always ended in him making trivial excuses for being undeserving of anything given to him, right then and now.

Him being stuck in this busy town, that wasn’t _really_ busy, because not a lot went on when he was left all alone to deal with his own thoughts.

There probably wasn’t life outside, past the rose-coloured horizon in the slight distance, and maybe that was all he needed to know for now, because one day or another; his time might just come.

Donghyuck hummed lightly, “Goodnight, _Sunset Town_.”


End file.
